Breaking up is hard. It's even harder if you and your significant other are living together. Deciding to part ways as a couple but still living under the same roof can be a delicate situation to navigate. Who moves out and who stays? Do you split your belongings or does one compensate the other? While moving on after a breakup may be difficult, moving out doesn't have to be. Check out these 4 tips on how to make moving out after a big breakup as uncomplicated and hassle-free as possible.
1. Don't Let Your Emotions Dictate the Discussion
If you and your significant other have decided to end your relationship, it's safe to assume that both parties are feeling emotionally charged. When it comes to discussing logistics of how to handle moving out, try not to have it during the heights of both of your emotions.
If you're feeling emotionally vulnerable while conducting this conversation, it's likely that you'll be operating from a place of anger, hurt and sadness rather than with logic and realistic expectations. Allow yourselves time to cool off and then discuss the best strategy for who should move out and who should stay. Or, if neither one of you can afford the apartment alone, discuss a viable way for both parties to move out without having to break the lease and lose the security deposit. In this case, subletting the apartment may be an appropriate option.
2. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
Once it's time to move on and out, have a discussion with your ex-partner about who get's what. While you are entitled to evenly divide what you purchased together or get compensated for items they prefer to keep, be cognizant of how old and how much wear and tear each item has suffered. Don't insist that your partner pay half of the original cost.
Choose your battles and only be assertive about items that you actually care about. Do you really care about that pleather ottoman enough to make your partner pay you half it's worth? If the answer is no, don't sweat it. The conversation on how to divide up your mutual belongings shouldn't turn into a personal ploy on how to get back at your ex.
3. Recruit a Trusted Pal to Help You Move
If you're used to having your ex-partner's help on challenging tasks, having to move out all alone might get emotionally and physically draining. This is when you should reach out to a trusted pal who can offer physical and emotional support. Once you recruit a friend to help you move, schedule moving day for a time when your ex-partner isn't home. Moving out while they're lounging on the couch can make for an extremely uncomfortable move -- do them and yourself a favor and schedule move-out accordingly.
If your friend is able to offer accommodations, it may also be beneficial to crash at their place for a few days following the breakup. This will give you some space to think, evaluate and decide how to approach what has occurred.
4. Move in to Your New Place & Treat Yourself!
When your move into your new home is complete, it's not abnormal to feel a bit lost or unsettled. Remember, you went from sharing your living space with a loved one to living alone or with a new roommate. Do your best to decorate your new space with cozy and warm touches that uplift your spirits when you walk in. Avoid keepsakes and momentos from your past relationship - this will only delay the process of moving on.
Finally, treating yourself can be as elaborate or as simple as you wish. Breakups are hard and it can take several months to start feeling like ourselves again. Once you've settled into your new digs, look into doing something for yourself. Take that art class you've always wanted to try or splurge on a solo vacation. Whatever you choose, make sure it's 100% on your terms.
Moving on after a break up with a domestic partner is not an easy task but the sooner you move out of your shared living situation, the better. While some couples are forced to co-habitate for months after a breakup, the fastest way to move on is to get out fast. Before you know it, you'll be back to your old self again and maybe even ready for love again!
So you've had the hard discussion and decided to move out after a breakup, now what? Allow SmartMove to help you with the logistics -- check out our comprehensive & customized moving guide that offers timelines, tips and more!